How Macaroni And Babies Are Made

My three-year-old niece Sofie is obsessed with watching videos about how things are made.

How Crayons are Made is a big hit around here:

But the How Macaroni is Made video is like the toddler version of a cocktail. It always takes the edge off for Sofie. Last week, she fell and hurt her knee and was inconsolable until I whispered the magic words, "Do you want to watch how macaroni is made." Suddenly all was right in Sofie's world once again.

Yesterday, we were watching this video when Sofie said, "Now I want to watch how babies are made." I asked, "Do you mean baby dolls?" with a hint of hope in my voice. But alas, she responded, "No, I want to know how real babies are made."

Holy crap, I think my heart stopped beating for a few minutes.

In lieu of letting Sofie watch how babies are made, I found a video where she could watch how a fetus grows that doesn't contain any graphic information. She loved the video and kept saying "Wow" while watching it. Then she wanted to watch it again. The second time she said, "that's so cool. . . it looks like a piggy. . . now it looks like an alien. It has a really big head and aliens have big heads. . . look, it doesn't look creepy anymore. It's starting to look like a baby." Then she wanted to watch it again. And again. And again.

I was just started to feel a sense of relief that the video had provided her with just enough information that she wouldn't be asking more questions. The cold sweat I had been overcome with had even begun to pass when she said, "Now how does the baby get out of the mommy?" And in my head, all I could hear was, "Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. CRAP."